I’m pretty sure every mother has complained they’re tired. End of the day, middle of the day, even the beginning of the day. Every mom is just tired. You see memes, t-shirts, coffee mugs, even tote bags talking about the tiredness of motherhood. Yet still, most mothers either stay up later than they should or wake up before the kids to get some quiet. On the surface, it makes no sense. If us moms are so tired, why don’t we just get more sleep? What we really mean is that we’re weary.
The day in and day out of constantly caring for other humans who can’t do things for themselves does wear on you. Not to mention the mental load. Even with the help of a spouse or when the kids are old enough to help with things, the mental load that moms bear can be quite heavy. Sometimes mothering is just makes us overwhelmingly weary.
Mothering when you’re weary isn’t really something we can avoid. Our kids still need us. We still want to be there for them. So how do we do it? How do we do the whole motherhood thing when we’re just worn out? Read on to find some ways to make it through and even some ways to make it a little easier.
Yup, that’s right. Sometimes we just have to ignore the weariness. This isn’t healthy to do all the time but sometimes it is the only option. You can’t just stop and give in to it when dinner needs to be made then kids need to be driven to a lesson/game. Or when the stomach bug is working its way through your family. You may be weary but at that point, you can’t give up. You have to just ignore it. Grab a cup of coffee and push through. If you don’t dwell on it, it will make it easier during those seasons.
Make time for breaks
Make time every day for a break, however that break looks to you. Maybe it’s a 30 minute TV show or reading a book for 20 minutes. Whatever it is, schedule 10-30 minutes into your day just for you. Once a week, schedule a longer break. Go and do something away from kids and the house if possible. If not, do something like take a long bath or watch a movie. If you can, schedule an even longer break once a month or every other month if you can’t do that. Take a whole day to just be you. Even if that means you clean without the kids around or catch up on some home projects. However you work all this, just make sure you are taking time for yourself to recharge and refresh.
Nurture a hobby
Find something that is just for you. For me, it’s blogging, teaching about essential oils, and attending a weekly Zumba class. The important thing here is that it’s something that is just for you as you. Not you as a mom. Not you as a wife. Or you as an employee. Just. You. I blog because I love to write and to connect with all you other moms. I love to share my experiences and expertise.
Your thing might be hiking. Maybe you like to get out in nature and away from the internet, TV, phones, etc. Maybe your thing is refinishing future in your garage. You may even find that teaching a fitness class may be your thing. Whatever it is, find the thing that recharges you and go with it! It might take some trial and error but you will find it.
Find an outlet
Sometimes the best way to get through the weariness of motherhood is to talk about it. That can mean actually talking about it with someone or a group of other moms. That may even just mean writing a journal. Find someone to express what you’re feeling. Know that all moms go through some weariness. Some ages and stages are harder than others and the stage you find hard, someone else may find easy. Just know that every mom struggles with some form of being weary. You are not alone.
If you’re in a relationship, be sure to share with your partner. Men don’t really understand it is it really is a “mom thing.” However, they are part of this whole parenthood thing. Just be sure to share that you are mostly sharing if you just need to vent or let it be known you are okay with advice if you are. One thing I’ve learned in marriage is that my husband needs to know going into the conversation if I just need an ear or if I want feedback. It saves us both a lot of frustration if we both know the expectations first.
(If you feel like you don’t have a mom friend or something to talk to, you can always email me. I’d be happy to listen.)
Mothering when you’re weary can seem so hard some days. It can feel like a to your bones exhaustion that just won’t go away. With these tips, you’ll help keep yourself pushing on and staying on the course. Sometimes I need these reminders just as much as you. Remember that all moms are in the together. I’m totally pulling for you. And if you’re having a day you just can’t make it through, there’s always chocolate, coffee, and wine in my house. 😉
Come party with me! Here are all the link parties I do each week.