If you’re about to have a baby it’s probably true that you have received a lot of advice. You are probably overwhelmed by it all. What advice is good and what advice is to be ignored? And just why does everyone feel the need to tell you what you need to do? After having gone through the new baby thing twice now, I have decided to put together a list of new mom advice to ignore to help you out a bit.
Sleep when the baby sleeps
It is pretty much impossible to sleep every time the baby sleeps. Take this advice with a smile and nod. Yes, absolutely take a nap or two a day those first few weeks. You are going to need to get sleep whenever you can. But if you want to take a nap time to read a book or watch a TV show or do some housework, go for it! Don’t feel like you have to nap every time the baby does just because you were told to sleep when the baby sleeps. Not to mention, newborns have a weird napping schedule and make take multiple really short naps or only want to nap on you.
Housework will wait
Actually, it won’t. People still need clean underwear, dinner, and dishes to eat it off of. Yes, you can let the house go a bit. But it can be infuriating to hear people tell you constantly to just ignore the housework when you are already doing the bare minimum. Just do what you need to do! There is time for both baby snuggles and house work, I promise. There is nothing wrong with asking for help but know that you can absolutely do some of it yourself. If you are anything like me, you can’t relax with a dirty house anyway. I can’t sit down to relax if the dishes need washed or the floors need cleaned. I just get antsy until I do the cleaning. I learned early on I actually got more rest by doing some house work first.
Stay home the first few weeks
Unless you have a baby with an especially weak immune system, it is okay to get out of the house! Obviously be smart about it and be selective about where you go. I have found the best way to get out and about without people trying to touch a new baby is to wear the baby. Just don’t allow the cabin fever to get the best of you.Enjoy every moment and other new mom advice to ignore Click To Tweet
Enjoy every moment
This one is pure craziness! The point of it is that people are saying that children grow fast so don’t wish the time away. But that isn’t what they actually say. It is totally okay to not enjoy every moment of motherhood, especially those first few weeks. Those first two months or so can be incredibly rough. With my first, it was rough but doable. With my second, wow! I honestly started to think I was truly loosing my mind. It was crazy! I am so incredibly glad that we are done with that stage. I did not enjoy it at all. Really, take this advice and just try to find some moments that you can enjoy but don’t feel like you have to love motherhood from day one.
Your husband should help at night/you should let your husband sleep
Really, this one is just butting into your personal life a bit too much. Every situation, every marriage, is different. For us, I do all the night time stuff. My husband is such a sound sleeper that by the time I could get him to wake up and take care of the baby, the baby would be having a full on meltdown. In that time, I could have just dealt with the baby myself and gone back to bed. But for other couples, the dad does a fair amount of the night time things. It works for them.
Most sleep advice
Just be picky about this one. Know that every baby is different. My first was an easy sleeper. She loved to be swaddled. My second? She is so hard to get to fall and stay asleep and the swaddle? She hated it! The only way she would sleep was on me or on her tummy. If your baby needs to be in the swing to sleep, use the swing! If they hate the swaddle, don’t swaddle them just because you are told babies love it. Babies are all different so not all sleep advice will work for all babies.
(I am absolutely not encouraging putting your baby in an unsafe sleep situation. We had permission from my baby’s doctor to let her sleep on her tummy.)
One of the best things you can do as a new mom is learn to trust yourself and your instincts. With the internet and social media, it can be so easy to to second guess yourself. Learn to know which advice works for you and which to just give the ol’ “smile and nod.”
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