Have you ever thought about what type of mother you are? Do you fit into one of the mothering categories like free-range or helicopter? Most of us don’t tend to think too much about it until we run across an article about different parenting types. Then, if you’re anything like me, you start to obsess about it. You start to wonder if you hover too much or let your kids run wild without realizing it.
But have you ever stopped to think about how your personality type might affect your mothering? Personality type and motherhood can go directly hand in hand. Embracing your personality type is one thing but it can be hard to admit that our personality types can affect how we parent as well. Sometimes that can be a good thing, sometimes it can cause some of our parenting struggles.
Realizing how our personality affects motherhood
Our personality type really does affect everything. It affects our reactions, our worldviews, our relationships, and yes, our parenting. We need to realize that. But what does that actually mean? It means that if we are on the introverted side, we are more likely to need “me time” every day and we’re more likely to overreact to the constant touching that comes from having children. If we are on the extroverted side, we’re likely to want to go somewhere every day and can sometimes accidentally “ignore” our children as we are socializing with other moms.
Neither type is right or wrong. Both have pluses and minuses. The important thing here is to realize that it happens. Yes, sometimes it is something we need to overcome. If we tend to be so busy socializing we forget to pay attention to our kids, we need to make an intentional effort to not do that. If we know that we get overwhelmed by noise and touch, we need to build in time in the day to get time away from that so we do not come unhinged on our children.
What to do about it
So what do we about it? Do we even have to do anything about it? Yes! When we realize how our personality type affects us as mothers, we can put that knowledge to good use and be the best moms we can be. We often have kids that have different personalities than us. That can make things difficult, especially for stay at home moms who are with their kids all day, every day.
Here’s the thing: it can be good for us to have kids that are opposite from us. I know, I know. I hate that too, but for those of us who would rather stay home all the time and never go anywhere, having a “go and do” child can help us get out of our cave once in awhile. For those that hate to be home, having a child that needs at home time can make us take some down time we don’t know we need.
Adjusting our parenting
When we know what our personality type is, not just know but embrace it, we can adjust our parenting to accommodate it. Knowing our personality and how that affects our needs, can help us to give our children what they need too. An example from my own life: when I finally recognized that I was getting cranky all the time because of constant noise and touching (both are things that are hard for me), I was able to start building in “me time” in the day. This time without noise and touching enabled me to handle it better the rest of the day.
Without that time, I am not a very good mom. I admit that fully. You might have something similar. Or you might have another factor to your personality that affects how you parent. Learn what it is and adjust certain things to help both you and your kids.
Personality type and motherhood can go together more than we realize. Realizing that can help make our days smoother and can even help us be better moms. Once we realize what factors of our personality affects our parenting, we can start to adjust things to meet our needs and the needs of our kids, without anyone feeling unwanted or like a martyr.