This week I was suppose to write about balancing motherhood with a preschooler and a baby. And I might still write about that some day…just not today. I don’t feel like I can write about something that I am currently really struggling with. I knew the transition from one kid to two kids would be hard. Everyone I know who has more than one kid says one to two is the hardest transition. But, mamas, it’s really hard. Pregnancy was really rough for me then we had baby #2 five weeks early which came with all kinds of things like an ambulance ride while in labor, a second c-section, a NICU stay, and a special car seat for our little five pound baby. Oh, and then back home with a baby with latching issues and taking care of my preschooler while my husband had to go right back to work. It was a lot. I feel like we still haven’t leveled out. Miriam is now five and a half months old…and cutting teeth. That’s on top of being an awful napper and now waking multiple times a night because she can’t get her pacifier back in her mouth by herself.
I’m tired. Like, really tired. The baby is much happier since we switched to formula at ten weeks but she is needy! I mean, she’s a baby. That’s what babies do. But it is soooooo much harder when you have a super intelligent but highly sensitive four year as well. She involves a lot of mental energy. I feel like I haven’t slept in months. I feel like I never get to rest anymore. The whole “baby is a bad napper” is definitely contributing to that.
Mamas of two, I feel your pain. Having two kids is hard. Really hard. I understand what you are going through.
I understand the feeling that there just isn’t enough coffee in the world to get your eyelids to not feel heavy. I understand the overwhelming days of someone needing something all the time. I understand that when you finally get some down time, you don’t even have the energy to hold the book you so desperately want to read. I understand that some days you just want to change your name and move to Hawaii. I understand that you actually took the time to teach your preschooler how to run the Roku so that when they wake up before the baby, they can go watch TV and let you sleep a little while longer. I understand that this stage feels like forever even though everyone swears it will be overly fairly quickly. I understand that you don’t believe those people. I understand that some days you are holding on to your sanity by a string so thin, it resembles dental floss.
So now that you’ve read all that, you’re probably wondering where the advice is. There isn’t any. I don’t have any for you right now. I know that eventually it will get better, you will sleep again. But I also know that that knowledge doesn’t really help in the moment. So instead of advice just know that you are not going through this land of two small children all alone. Know that a lot of us find this stage hard. Know that just surviving is okay. Somehow all these other moms before it got through this stage. We will too. 🙂
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