I’m really struggling with being content right now. There are so many things that I would like to upgrade. So much of our frugal life is making do with what we have. Right now I am really wanting:
an iPhone
a Macbook
a new desk
All nice tools to have. But not necessary. I have a phone. It may freeze and I don’t like it, but I own it. I have a laptop. It is broken right now but I own it and it makes do. I have a desk. It really doesn’t work for what I need but it is better than the floor.
Which brings me to my point. We have a wedding to go in a couple weeks. Since a lot of weddings have a book or something to write marriage advice in, Matt was thinking about what to write. His advice: Be content with less.
His reasoning? When you have nothing you have nothing to fight about. When you have nothing, you cling to each other more and your money and possessions less.
You know? He has a point. We have been struggling financially for most of our marriage. Sure, we still fight every so often but really, we are a team. We have to work together to make the budget work. We don’t have fun toys like snowmobiles or fancy electronics to keep us from talking to each other. We spend a lot of our time together, growing together, strengthening our marriage together. Sometimes that is just hanging out, watching a movie or a show. Other times we can actually afford to go out on a date. Other times that is figuring out, together, how we are going to stretch the budget to pay for something we need/want.
This doesn’t mean that we never have disagreements or arguments. Those things tend to help strengthen a marriage as you have to work through them. We have to work together to decide if we are going to buy that Macbook next or the new chainsaw. Being broke has forced us to work together as a team even more than if we were more comfortable financially. It has forced us both to rely on God to provide for us.
I would love to not struggle each month. But if that’s what it has taken to make our marriage have a firm foundation, that’s a small sacrifice. 🙂
Elizabeth Lund says
You know, I have seen finances go both ways – either you fight more or you cling to one another more. I think when we simplify it always make things go a little more smoothly. thank you for your thoughts. Very wise.
Julie @ Loggers Wife says
It absolutely can go both ways, that’s for sure. I won’t say we have never fought over finances but we have learned to be a team because of the situations. You are right that simplifying does seem to make life go a little smoother. 🙂
Gentle Joy says
Such good advice… lack of wisdom using money and discontentment are high on the list of reasons divorce occurs. Thank you for sharing this. 🙂
The Contented Wife says
My sister and I were just talking about this yesterday. My husband and I live off of one income, and for the most part, we are content. We know we are blessed and we are happy. But living off of one income forces you to be close with your spouse. In some ways, it solves a lot of issues automatically. It helps our communication and keeps us focused on the same goals!
Julie @ Loggers Wife says
It does solve some issues automatically. I like how you worded that. 🙂
Misty B says
Yes! I agree with this 100%. I think contentment in life makes for a happier marriage, a happier home and a happier family. Great post! Pinned and shared 🙂
Julie @ Loggers Wife says
Thanks!
Shel Harrington says
Makes perfect sense, Julie! Another surprise (for us!) strengthener was moving across the country from all our family and friends. Talk about leaning on each other! There was nobody else in sight who knew our names! It also forced us to get outside our comfort zone and hone skills – such as making friends – that we just didn’t need when living where we had always lived and doing what we had always done.
By the way – as a frugality specialist, you probably already know this – there are tons of free date options. I did a 3-part series last year on my site called “Date Your Mate – For Free!” Most of them were things I stumbled across when times were lean and I was forced to get creative for entertainment in a place we had no friends – yet!
Julie @ Loggers Wife says
Similar to that, we always joke our marriage is stronger in the summer and falls as it is lumberjack season for us. We are traveling multiple hours every weekend. We’re kinda forced to talk. lol
The issue with date nights outside the home is babysitting. We live in a rural area so lots of gas and planning to get the 2yr old to a babysitter (all our babysitters have kids themselves so can’t come here). Then even more time and gas to get anywhere. Even a cheap date is so much planning and driving. So those are rare. But we do a lot of at home date nights. Thanks for the resource. 🙂 One of favorite date nights before we had a child was we would go to Goodwill, split up, and each find the craziest thing we could or the funkiest outfit. It was always so fun!
Shel Harrington says
Oh my gosh, Julie – LOVE the Goodwill Date idea (AND the way it sounds!) – I’ll have to add that to the list! Thanks!
Cassie from True Agape says
I think when you live more frugal you do have to think a little more outside of the box. But also you do spend more time together instead of with your things. My husband and I actually still have flip phones! It calls and texts 🙂
Julie @ Loggers Wife says
Yes, you do for sure have to think more outside of the box. 🙂
Janice Wald says
Congratulations! Your post won the Inspire Me Monday Linky Party! You are being featured on my site tomorrow.
Janice
Julie says
Thanks!