We all know that person. You know the one I’m talking about. The one who’s Facebook page is full of beautiful meals, nice outfits, and statements about how great their kids are. We get annoyed by it, but we also wonder how in the world that person has it all together when we barely can find matching socks. We get jealous that we can’t figure out how to be more put together ourselves.
Sometimes these types of Facebook posts can really make us feel bad about ourselves. We start to think we are a failure because we don’t make fancy meals or have cute outfits. Sometimes we feel like we are failing as a mom because our kids aren’t getting a bunch of ribbons or academic achievement awards. Sometimes we wonder how come we can’t find the time in our days to do as much as they do.
Let me tell you a secret. That person doesn’t really have it all together. Sure, maybe more than some people but mostly, you’re just seeing their successes. I personally believe in a “share the good, share the bad” method of social media. But so many people want to keep it only positive. However, in doing so, it makes them seem like these perfect people when really, all we are seeing is their moments of perfection.That person probably doesn't really have it all together. We are just seeing their successes. Click To Tweet
What we see is that little Sue had straight A’s this quarter. What we don’t see is the hours of struggling over homework. What we see is a tasty, well-balanced meal. What we don’t see is that the last three nights were fast food, cereal, or frozen pizza. What we see is the cute outfit, perfect hair, and make-up. What we don’t see is that most days, they are rocking yoga pants, an old T-shirt, and a mom bun. That’s right. More than likely, that “has it all together” mom is more like us than we realize by appearances alone.
What does that mean for us? First of all, it means grace. Give ourselves some grace for being a hot mess some days, even if those days are more often than not. Give the “perfect mom” some grace. She probably isn’t so perfect after all.
Secondly, maybe when it comes to our own social media presence, we can be more mindful of how we come across. Are we only posting our successes, making it seem like bragging? We need to be careful that we don’t cause others to view us in a bad light, to one extreme or the other. I know I don’t want people thinking I’m a horrible mom, but I also don’t want them thinking I am a super human. It is important to be real. I’m not saying be only negative all the time. Even if you show your successes to the world, make sure your friends know that you are real and have struggles too.
Lastly, going along with grace, we can pray. We can pray for that “all together” mom. It’s possible that she feels like she has to look cute all the time and must have the best behaved, smartest kids. It’s possible she feels extreme pressure to be perfect. Pray for her. Pray that she can understand that it is okay to not be perfect. Also, pray for yourself. Pray for your attitude when “perfect mom” pops up on your social media. Pray about your own heart. Maybe you really do need to have it together just a little more than you do. Ask God for His help in that. Or maybe you just resent “that” mom and are a bit jealous. Pray that God will help you control your attitude and show you a way to be a true friend to that person.
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