This year’s word of the year was a struggle for me. Every time I thought I had a word, it got replaced. Then I would get a word that I wasn’t 100% comfortable with but I figured, hey, maybe that means God needs to work on me in that area.
When I finally thought I landed on a word, a friend mentioned that her word was peace. I suddenly had an “ah ha” moment. I felt at peace. I had been going to choose trust but I just couldn’t figure out why God wanted me to choose that. Trusting is easy. Trusting that God will work everything out for good is easy. Having peace about that…not so much. You can trust but still be anxious.
A few weeks ago at church a friend was lighting the “peace” candle for the advent wreath. This friend was/is going through a rough patch. Part of her talk was about even though the circumstance isn’t what she wanted, even though there is anger and sadness and all other kinds of emotions to deal with, deep down, way down sometimes, she has peace.
By the time she was done, I don’t think there was a dry eye in the church. I know I was crying. At the time, we were fully immersed in Abby’s recent diagnosis and the start of trying to figure out my medical issue. Peace was not even on the radar. Surviving was pretty much where we were. And then….Matt’s car broke.
I knew in my head that God had it under control. I knew that He would work everything out and not just work it out, but work it out for good. But I did not have peace about it. I was still anxious. And by “was,” I mean, I still am.
I don’t know what 2015 holds. I don’t know if things will get harder first or if they will get better. I don’t know if there will be big situations or small ones. I do know that 2015 will be a time of asking God to help me be at peace no matter the situation.
That is a scary statement. December 2014 saw us facing some situations that are completely scary. Any time your child has medical issue, it shakes you to your core. Any time you have an unexplained medical issue, it has you jumping to worst case scenario. Then you add in financial issues….it’s so hard to have peace.
This year I am choosing two verses, one about peace and one that my friend shared in church about trust.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” ~ Romans 15:13
“Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him…” ~ Job 13:15a
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