Every year I try to choose a word to live. The last two years the word has chosen me. Last year was grace and this year is peace. When God gave me the word “peace,” I was terrified. I had no idea what was coming down the pike and was scared that I would have to learn peace in some pretty awful circumstances. Guess what? I was right.
At the start of the year, we were facing medical issues for my daughter and a surgery for me. Then there was the ever present financial stresses. I was finally doing better with those situations when I had a miscarriage. Here’s what surprised me about that miscarriage: how quickly I went from distraught to at peace.
That first week of the miscarriage was awful. Between the emotions, the physical pain, and the changing hormones, I was a bit of a mess. By the second week, I was okay. By the third week, I was perfectly fine. Just under a month later and I actually uttered the phrase, “I”m actually kind of glad I’m not pregnant right now.” I had complete peace about the situation. I truly believed that it happened for a reason so no point in dwelling on it. Can I just say how much that shocked me? Especially that last part. We were just so busy with lumberjack season, I was so glad I wasn’t dealing with morning sickness on top of it.
I’m honestly amazed at how this year is going. At my last word of the year update, I wasn’t sure if I was at peace or in denial. I now believe I am at peace. Even simple things that normally give me at least a little stress, don’t really matter, like scoring lumberjack shows. Even that one show where I made a mistake and it wasn’t noticed until after checks were handed out. In the past, I would have been freaking out and annoyed at myself for quite some time. This year, eh, whatever. It got taken care of and it just proves that I’m human like everyone else. That does mean I need to remember to triple check next time but it isn’t a big, stressful deal anymore for me.
All that being said, I do hope that we are done with the big situations this year. That isn’t up to me but I really hope the miscarriage was the last big thing. I think that is a normal feeling, though. Nobody wants to go through trials. Nobody wants to go through hard times. However, I now know, that God can give me His peace when we do go through rough patches. Whether this year or years in the future. God can help me get through them. I just have to allow it. I want to leave you with a quote that I read while going through the miscarriage. It was the biggest help to me as I worked through my emotions for that. I hope it is an encouragement for you as well.
“When we place our problems in God’s hands, He puts His peace in our hearts.”
Come party with me! Here are all the link parties I do each week.