It happened again. I waited (not so patiently) for 11 days…only to have my not so lovely monthly visitor show up. Aunt Flo is really not welcome around here. But there she was again. Just as predicted, I was a sobbing mess on the kitchen floor. (Why do these things always happen when I’m trying to make dinner?) Which then brings the anger. Every. Single. Time. I get so angry that God gifts people with babies who then neglect or abuse them. I get angry that teens messing around in the back seat that one time get knocked up. I get angry that other people only take a couple of months of trying before they are pregnant. I get angry that we can hit all the “prime days” and still end up not pregnant. I just get so angry.
Sure, I get over it. And then the next month I go through it all over again. The anticipation, the hope, the sadness, the anger, the hurt, the desperation. I remember it well from when we were trying for our first child and it has now been more than a year of trying for a second child.
For me, God’s timing is not mine when it comes to increasing our family size. For you, it might be something else. A move, a career change, a financial situation. Whatever it is, I’m sure you have also had a situation where God’s timing was not your timing. It’s never easy. It’s almost always frustrating. So what are you to do when you are in that type of situation?
I really don’t know.
Sorry. I just don’t. All I know is that even if it isn’t the way I would like it to go, God has a plan. And it’s perfect. His timing is much better than mine. I am horrible at waiting on God’s timing. But I know that it will be what is best in the end. So what do we do when God’s timing isn’t our timing? We cry. We may yell. We pray.We acknowledge, to ourselves and to God, that He is the one in control. We acknowledge that He has the best, most perfect plan in place for us, much better than whatever plan we have for ourselves. Yes, we embrace the pain. We have to to get past it. But then we pray and we thank God that He has a much better plan for us than we do. We thank Him for his perfect timing.
What do we do when God's timing isn't our timing? Click To Tweet
“This Godβhis way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.”Β Psalm 18:30 (ESV)
Joanna @Everyday Made Fresh says
I completely understand where you are coming from! Stopping by from Shine blog hop. ~ My sister n law was in this same predicament for years. It’s all in God’s timing and so hard to not let our feelings get in the way. And I totally get the feelings of anger. my sil and I actually had the same convo numerous times about how easily others have kids that are awful towards them. Just keep you head up, keep praying, and in God’s time, it will happen. Remember he always sees the bigger picture, where as we only ate living in the moment.
Julie says
Ah, yes. The bigger picture. I’m so glad that God can see that since I can’t. π
Sarah Washburn says
What a true and encouraging post. When I am facing something, I try and spend a lot of time in prayer and completely surrender the issue to Him. Sometimes surrendering is not easy, and I don’t understand it, except for I guess our pride gets in the way to think we know better than Him ,,, which is really crazy! Father help us! Thank you for sharing. Blessings, ~Sarah (visiting from Radical Femininity)
Sarah Washburn recently posted…Bright Spring/Summer Flair Skirts
JcCee says
This is a great post! I needed this. Thanks for sharing. I am also horrible at waiting on God’s timing. I have struggle with God’s timing in the past and since I didn’t want to wait on him (don’t know what I was really thinking when I think back on it), I tried to make things happen and things seemed alright. Things seemed like they went well but they were not in my overall best interest when I look at the whole picture now. I still have issues with God’s timing. What has been helping me now is what you discussed. I have been leaning more and more to him now and just trying to trust him because his plan as you said is Perfect. Many blessings to you and your family π #ShineBlogHop
JcCee recently posted…Family Fun When The Lights Are Out
Julie says
I think struggling with God’s timing vs. our timing is one of those life long struggles. Part of being human. We can just pray and learn to not jump the gun and let God’s do His thing. π Thanks for visiting!
Amanda B. says
Hi Julie! I found you on the Grace & Truth Link up! Your title was so intriguing I had to stop by. Then I had to comment because I was that teenage girl. I had two children before I graduated high school (one was adopted) and a two more not long after. It was through my children that I found God’s grace, which was difficult since I knew what a sinner I was. The Bible says that it is the goodness of God that brings man to repentance, and my children were that goodness. I remember sitting in a ladies Bible Study, pregnant with my fourth child by three men, unmarried, earnestly seeking the Lord and the pastor’s wife (who had struggled to have children) said something similar to what you wrote in your post- how she didn’t understand how God would give children to other, seemingly less qualified parents. She didn’t mean it to be hurtful to me. She was just overwhelmed with her grief, and I understood. Still, everyone in the group knew my situation, and it was awkward to say the least. I tried to be encouraging, and I told her that she should trust the Lord. She did not know his plan for her life. Three years later, she adopted a little girl from the Philippines who was the same age as my fourth child. I told her, “See. You were struggling in that Bible study, but you didn’t know that, half a world away, God was preparing a child for you.” Several years later, she gave birth to a healthy child. I never had any more children. You know, the Lord really does know best. It is hard in those moments, but you can trust him 100%. We are both, I think, amazing moms. We just took different paths to get there. Don’t look around at others. Pray for them. Their struggle is different, but equally difficult. Look up to the Lord. His plan may be different than yours, but it is perfect. You can trust him. I’ll be praying for you!
Amanda B. recently posted…Your Gifts
Julie says
Thank you for sharing your story with me!
katy allred says
It’s definitely tough to see when in the moment but at least you do KNOW there’s a bigger picture! A friend of mine tried for years for their 2nd.. just to have a 3rd (unplanned) without trying. At first that was scary too and bad timing but now they can’t imagine their family any other way. When we can surrender our want to control when and how everything happens, and just appreciate each day as it comes to us, things are less painful! Surrender is not easy but it sounds like you are well on your way. Thanks for sharing!
katy allred recently posted…Be Happier Today By Asking Yourself These 3 Questions
Julie says
Surrender definitely isn’t easy. You’re right. My hope is that someday, if this journey keeps taking a long time, I am able to fully surrender to God’s control of this situation and not go through the crazy emotions each month it doesn’t happen.
Emily says
You took the words right out of my mouth! My husband and I waited a little over 5 years to get pregnant with our son. I went through major ups and downs just like you stated, but came up with the same conclusion: God’s plan is best! Psalm 18:30 was kind of my theme verse during that time. Such a great truth to know that God’s ways are perfect. Dealing with infertility even the second time around is difficult.
Emily recently posted…I Lied to the Doctor.
Julie says
I actually stumbled upon Psalm 18:30 while writing this post. But, like you, it is now kinda my theme.
Rebekah harris says
Waiting is so hard!!! We don’t always understand but we can know that his ways are truly best! He is working in us far greater things than we can imagine. I might not like it but I am always so thankful when God doesn’t answer prayers in my timing because I have seen again and again how his timing was best. Linking up with you at mom2mom:)
Julie says
Ah, yes. The “might not like it” part. That is the hardest part of all of waiting on God’s timing.
Jen says
Hi, Julie! I’m happy to be stopping by here from last week’s Grace and Truth link-up. The waiting is oh-so-hard, isn’t it?! When I have to wait is usually when I struggle with being discontent the most. Thank you for reminding us that God’s timing is perfect. π
Jen @ Being Confident of This
Jen recently posted…A Little About Fambaca ~ Grace and Truth Week 22